The lyrics below are my life since Sunday. Sort of mildly confused and frustrated and not really that bothered, but with the nagging need to know WHY.
Why you didn’t call me?
I waited for days
I can’t believe you didn’t call.
A. You’re gay
B. You’ve got a girlfriend
C. You kinda thought I came on too strong or
D. I just wasn’t your thing
When we sat outside for an hour at the party and talked
I thought something good could be starting
It’s not a lot that I want
just some talking
and really, you just injured my pride
‘Hey Boy’ – The Blow
It’s just – I had the pinkest, girliest night imaginable on Saturday, so was kind of looking forward to some snarky boy conversation. Le sigh. I am super thankful for all the friends that said ‘leave it!’ and ‘NEXT!’ and even ‘not being yoked to a situation has e-nor-mous benefits‘.
This picture just came up on weheartit, and yes, I was a little bit ‘aww’. But just the smidgini-est big, because I don’t do pining. Mostly, it made me realise how infinitely more woeful NZ plug socket-faces look, with their long mouths, like Edvard Munch’s The Scream (or indeed, the killer from the 90s movies, whose mask was inspired by that painting, which I never got at the time ).
With the idea of non-romance. Just… honesty, and bumping shoulders, and not letting each other get cold.
Is it a bad sign that I don’t expect anything epic to happen ever again? Or even mind about it? Maybe we each get a limited amount of emotion for our lifetime (like eggs and sperm – I think that’s how it works?) and I already burned through all mine.
You know you’re getting comfortable with a guy when the big goodbye is approaching and you go out for a farewell breakfast, all big-eyes and unable to look away, aware of every second passing, and you end up ordering… this:
(If you click to enlarge you can practically taste it…)
Off to LA for a couple of weeks. This is the late fulfilment of my 12-year-old self’s plans with best friend of the moment to run away to Hollywood, work as a waitress, and get discovered. We thought we’d be ready at 14 but there was always something in the way.
Looking forward to: airline movies, getting bumped into business, Mexican food, palm trees, Opening Ceremony, Hollywood Forever cemetary, appearing on Ellen, staying at the super gorgeous Hotel Palomar-Westwood, catching up with old friends, romantic rendezvous reunions, checking out the famous M Cafe, a break from the Internet, drinks at the Chateau Marmont, plenty of sleep.