No More I Love You’s

The Language Is Leaving Me

David Bellemére for Marie Claire Italy

I get ridiculously melancholy sometimes. It’s in my nature – my parents, normally so sensible, gave me the same name as a great-great-aunt who was jilted by the gentleman she was supposed to marry, and died of a broken heart. Obviously, I’ve never made it quite that far, but I’m pretty expert at spending a whole shoegazer album lying on the couch with a box of tissues.  And even as a child, I always thought that if a book made you cry, it was worth something more.

I am pretty sure this is a LOSER way to be!

I used to be woebegone and so restless nights

Changes are shifting outside the word (sophie van der perre)

Recently, I’ve seen several friends have come out of relationships with such grace, dignity and optimism. I’m totally in awe. Being excessively sad doesn’t make things better and it doesn’t mean what was lost was worth something more. (I know this isn’t big news to anyone else.)

So here are my goals for the next month:

1. Do not talk about (my) crushes/love/romance.

2. Stop swearing.

3. Do not think about (my) crushes/love/romance.

It doesn’t mean I can’t have feelings or even dates, but I’m not to dwell on them.  Until 12 December! Hopefully #3 will stem from #1. It’s REVOLUTIONARY for a girl like me (except for the swearing, until recently I was quite a princess when it came to speaking proper, and I hate that I’ve descended into sailor-talk in the past two years). I haven’t been non-dreamy over boys since I was about 12,almost half my life. It is definitely time for Time Out.

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November 12, 2009. Tags: , , , , , . boys.

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