The Kids Are Not Alright, pt 1

Walking home from town last night, I got accosted by a gang of children.  Accosted is actually a euphemism.  If they weren’t children (like 8 year olds), I would say mildly molested, or assaulted, or something.  Walking past them at 1am, I barely had time to think “Sheesh, where do their parents think they are?” before one of them said “Hey, lady!” and grabbed my thigh.  Then all the others laughed, and another one grabbed at me too, and they all walked away.  I was so taken aback I didn’t even slap or snap at them, just stand for a full second with my mouth open and went on my way.

Seriously, they were like, eight.  Normally, when I say “he was like, twelve”, everyone knows what I mean is the guy is 20, just quite skinny and slight, with rumpled boy hair and still technically a little too young for me to be crushing on him without feeling guilty (but it’s not a crime or anything).  These guys. Were. EIGHT.  Maximum.  They grabbed my thigh because they could not reach any higher.


A few blocks down the road, this cute indie couple came over and the guy was all: “Excuse me, did those FIVE year olds just RAPE you?”  So I wasn’t exaggerating about the age thing.   And apparantly, right after, they head them say “Me like”.  Gaaaaaag.  There is not enough therapy in the world for me to deal with this, so you have to.

Pictures from the Dushi exhibition by Florentijn Hofman.


August 28, 2009. Tags: , , , . life is strange.


  1. Keegan replied:

    How you don’t unleash hell at these kinds of situations I’ll never know.

  2. swingsandskateboards replied:

    Honestly, I was so flummoxed I’m pretty sure I didn’t even frown at them!

  3. Keegan replied:

    You’ve got those death-dealing boots though right. Stomp away. That can be part 2. Laura goes postal.

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